In the beginning the Gods sent forth a messenger to all the bad sequel movies in the world. This messenger told the bad sequel movies (from here on to be shortened to BS movies) this:

"The Gods have willed that all BS movies that should never have been made shall meet in mortal combat to fight for the title of Champion of the Scummy BS Movies! Many shall compete, but only one shall survive! So it is written, so let it be done."
All the BS movies (fearing brimstone and rains of fire upon them) journeyed to the islands of the Gods to fight all the other BS movies

Many movies (including every Nightmare on Elm Street, Jaws, Friday the 13th, and Police Academy sequel) fought long and hard, but all were conquered by a mysterious masked contestant movie. With lightning reflexes he slashed through all that fought against him. In the end there was only him left. The Gods decreed that this movie should be the Champion of Scummy BS Movies; but only if he showed his face. The champion came before the Gods and bowed low, removing his mask as he did, and when he straightened up, the Gods all shrunk back in horror! The champion was none other than… *dramatic pause*… SCREAM 3!!!

The Gods had a trick up their sleeve though, they, in fact, were making a movie themselves, and they did not want any competition in the B.S. movie rental category. Therefore they had designed the contest to eradicate all the competition, and now they were going to destroy the winner, so they could go on AND OWN THE BS MOVIE RENTAL CATEGORY MUAHAHAHAHA!

But before they could destroy Scream 3 HE STRUCK! They tried everything, brimstone, big rocks, rat poison, more big rocks, and every time they thought he was dead HE CAME BACK! *WREEK WREEK WREEK*

The Gods went into hiding, but fortunately for Scream 3 they all hid in really dark narrow winding hallways…alone…with only one bullet left in their guns. One by one Scream 3 staked them down and STABBED THEM OVER AND OVER AND OVER… but then he slipped and fell on his knife and died… and all the Gods (that were left) heaved a sigh of relief and hugged each other and said really cliché love lines.

BUT THEN HE CAME BACK AND KILLED YET MORE GODS! There was only a few Gods left now and they all decided it would be a good idea to go to one of the God's mansions and split up, since being alone is much safer than in a big group (well duh…). Then they all lived happily ever after because Scream 3 died of old age (since he had to live through Scream 1 & 2). They celebrated by partying all night!

BUT HE CAME BACK AND KILLED A COUPLE MORE! *WREEK WREEK WREEK*

Then they got sick of it and just gave him the freaking champion trophy and went home, well, except for the dead ones…WHO CAME BACK AND KILLED YET MORE (in another sequel of course.)

That, if you can believe it, was more interesting than Scream 3, and my story was free too, which is about $6 less ($9.50 if you count popcorn) than Scream 3 cost.

Scream 3 is just a whole bunch of boring predictable non-scary poop rolled up into one big stinky floater in the toilet bowl of BS (bad sequel) movies. Guns always run out of bullets at the wrong time, backing up near a window gets you killed, and everyone is a suspect and says suspect-like things. Finally they throw in a whole bunch of new stuff that makes the killer into someone who NEVER EVER in a MILLION BAJILLION YEARS could you have guessed because you didn't know anything ABOUT HIM! Most of the important facts that help in solving the crime are given 2 minutes before he (or she) pulls off his/her. Every love scene looks like the actors (and actresses) are reading right off a teleprompter and all the climax scenes (there were lots of them) were corny and predictable. Most of the time you can predict accurately what will happen five full minutes before it happens.

Trust me save the $6 admission to Scream 3 and rent a good movie.