HoW To KeEp A HeaLthY LeVel Of iNsAniTy aNd dRiVe OtHeR PeOple iNsAnE


1) At lunch time, sit in your parked car and
point a hair dryer at passing
cars to see if they slow down.

2) Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't
disguise your voice.)

3) Insist that your e:mail address be:
xena-goddess-of-fire@companyname.com

4) Every time someone asks you to do something,
ask if they want fries with that.

5) Encourage your colleagues to join you in a
little synchronized chair dancing.

6) Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'IN'.

7) Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.

8) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks.
Once everyone has gotten over
their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

9) In the memo field of all your checks, write 'for sexual favors.'

10) Reply to everything someone says with,
"That's what you think

11) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance
with the prophecy".

12) Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the
brightness level lights up the entire work area.  Insist to
others that you like it that way.

13) dontuseanypunctuationorspaces

14) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

15) Ask people what sex they are.

16) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

17) Sing along at the opera.

18) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems
don't rhyme.

19) Find out where your boss shops and buy
exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after
your boss does.  (This is especially effective if your
boss is the opposite gender.

20) Send e:mail to the rest of the company to
tell them where you're going.  For example: If
anyone needs me, I'll be in the
bathroom.

21) Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.

22) Five days in advance, tell your friends you
can't attend their party
because you're not in the mood

23) Hum when you ride an elevator.


AnD tHe FiNal wAy tO aNnOy PeOple:

24) Send this to everyone in your address book