Cures for Insomnia

The clock says its one in the morning.  Your eyes are red.  You twist and turn.  You can't sleep.  What  do you do?  Test out the cures for insomnia.  I'm only doing this because it REALLY IS one in the morning when I am writing this...

Turkey sandwich:  Turkey is supposed to make you tired, and it really does when you eat a lot of it like on Thanksgiving, but this little but of turkey won't do it.  May not help you sleep, but it will cure those midnight munchies.  B

Medicine:  Yea, they have medicine to put you to sleep.  But at this time of night, are you really going to trust yourself to give you the right medicine?  The biggest downside is that this works a little too well...You may not wake up until the next night, and then you will still have insomnia!  C-

Work it:  Tiring yourself out by exorcising will probably get you tired enough to sleep.  But then you have to sleep in your own sweat, isn't that fun?  Fortunately, you don't have to break a sweat to get tired when your as lazy as me.  B

Hit head on hard object:  I tried this repeatedly.  I only got a headache.  I think if you want to know yourself out, you would need to hire a karate guy that knocks people out like in the movies, but that can be pricey.  D-

Warm Milk:  Have you ever had warm milk?  Its awful.  And it still didn't put me to sleep.  D-

Staring at the ceiling:  You know this doesn't work, but you try it anyway.  Just hoping that you will fall asleep, and you know you will at one point, but it will take a long long time.  C

Imagining yourself sleeping:  How lame is that?  I guess it works because you actually bore yourself into sleeping.  If I am going to imagine something I am going to imagine hot steamy... D

Read a book:  I love books, don't get me wrong, they don't bore me, but for some reason this seams to work well.  Unless its a really good book, then the opposite effect will occur, and I will stay up the whole night reading.  But at least I will enjoy my insomnia.  A-

Honey in tea:  I suppose if you want to actually take the time to make tea, and add honey to it, it may work.  Heck, its not like your doing anything else but stare at the ceiling right?  B

Those that did not make the cut:

Ah hell, I am going to try staring at the ceiling more, cause working on a website does not help cure insomnia!!