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Cartoon CEREAL Sellers
What a fun word to say...cereal cereal cereal cereal cereal cereal. I prefer cream cheese and bagels really...
Trix Rabbit: The poor rabbit can't get any! You know what I am talking about. He can't be too smart either if he like the cereal so much and can't figure out a way to steal a damn box. I figure he is broke, since he lives on the street and all. But it's no wonder he wants to get it, he gets high off of it! Did you see the one or two commercials when he actually got some? You know what I mean! The whole idea of a bum rabbit getting high off of cereal is not that appealing. C
Tony the Tiger: He is a traitor to his own kind! He came from the wild plains of Africa to the big cities to make millions selling cereal. Although he is so good at it, how can we blame him? But his job is so simple, he just says "they're Grrrreat!" But its so true! It's so true! A
Lucky: The pimp of cartoons! Goes around getting kids addicted on his sugar smacked marshmallow cereal! They chase him around and he "tries" to get away. "Oh gee kids, looks like you got me again, here have some more cereal. Look, I added a new marshmallow, the sugar cube." And I'm thinking he likes kids more then what's healthy if you know what I mean. You know, their always after his "lucky charms". The only thing saving him is the fact that he spawned that great saying, "there always after me lucky charms!". D
Count Chocula: As some visitors to this site might say (wink wink Rodent-man), all Gothic people love this guy! But really, if he is a vampire, then where does he suck chocolate from? Eh, don't answer that. Well, he is still around, but we don't see any more commercials supporting him, so I think he lost his fan base. They all got headaches trying to figure out how he can be a vampire that drinks chocolate. D-
Captain Crunch: Come on, you gotta love a name like that! But really he is a big sell out! In the beginning he was a great pirate, now he is some kind of hip-hop Cap'n. So what are the other ranks now? Adm'rl? Cor'nl? Gen'rl? Lut'nt? Pr'vt? Hehe, "Private Crunch". Guess that one will never fly. I don't like sellouts (except Korn). D
Cookie: Before Cookie and some criminal were chased around by a cop. They were trying to get Cookie Crisp in a cheap imitation of the Trix Rabbit (and we all know that that is a mistake!). So then the crook went to jail or something. Now the cop has turned into some kind of Natzi who doesn't want ANYONE to eat Cookie Crisp (except for breakfast). Now this dog is some kind of hero, giving out Cookie Crisp to the masses. But where the hell did he get it all? Before he couldn't even get a box! Well, the point is, he reformed from his thieving ways. B
The Honeycomb "Craving": What the fuck is this thing? It's computer generated, so it deserves some points for that. Reminds me of a werewolf, turn into a furry thing at the site of a full box! Or sometimes you just feel that urge. Wait a minute! This is another case of cereal addiction! D
Smacks Frog: Who thought of a frog to sell cereal? He did have a pretty cool voice, but in this case the cartoon was just not good enough for the cereal. I have not seen much of him, except for his picture on the box. Me thinks he was run over like his cousin the Frogger frog. C
The Bee: I hate bee's! They are all sting happy! And I don't mean happy about that sappy musician. I hope he chokes on his own honey! It's too bad such a good cereal had to stoop so low as to employ a bee. D
Snap, Crackle, Pop: Three magical and happy elves. They used to work for Santa, but were unhappy with the pay. So they went on their own to commercial cereal. They don't do a bad job really. But you have to wonder about anyone named after sounds. B
Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble: I never liked these two. Trying to deceive the public into thinking people actually lived along side the dinosaurs. Don't you think they get paid enough with all the Cartoons they are in and all the royalties? Besides, their cartoons are not funny. D
Toucan Sam: The toucan was not very impressive at first. Then he had kids and he was pretty good. Although a scandal rose up on who the mother was. Now he is in a bunch of odd dream commercials and now he rules! "The taste you dream about!" Not bloody likely! See, in this case, the cartoon is better then the cereal! why eat that fruit loops crap when you have so many better cereals? A
Those three chefs: Stupid old fat chefs! There used to be three but Grendel (if thats his real name) killed off the other two. If you are going to advertise cereal with a cartoon, don't make it a cartoon human. D-
Those that did not make the cut:
Mikey (he's not a cartoon)
The Captain Crunch "Soggies"
Granola Man
The Apple Jacks kids (they didn't taste like apple)
Booberry (got canned)
Any cereal in a box with milk inside
Krusty-o's Krusty the Clown
The Grandmas of Waffle Crisp